About how to fix a marriage tips-Get answers to your question as to how to fix a marriage now
Is fixing a marriage difficult?
How to fix a marriage successfully and prevent divorce?
How to fix the common marriage problems?
Will these endless fights that sap my energy and make me feel miserable,ever stop?
Why should I suffer a loveless and empty married life while all my friends and colleagues seem to enjoy happy married life?
Of all the people why should this happen to me?
Have I become sexually unattractive with my bulging tummy and ugly body flab that may be pulling my partner away from me?
These are the questions haunting many couples whose marriages are strained and heading towards the inevitable divorce resulting in broken homes,trauma,resentment and unhappiness for all the family members involved.
People do not realize the fact that it is easy to fix these common marriage problems to prevent divorce.If there are marriage problems,there are solutions too if you are willing to apply them.With little tact and understanding,preventing divorce is easy.
We all long and dream to have a crisis-free marriage to enjoy life but generally it never happens that way.This is because marriage makes two individuals with separate personalities having different tastes and likings to come together and lead life as husband and wife.There are bound to be disagreements but can be resolved through genuine efforts from both husband and wife.So the knowledge about marriage problems and solutions is necessary to resolve marital conflicts.
There are many components to healthy marital relationship.They are love,caring,trust,commitment,mutuality,knowledge and personal space.
The important basic requirement for marriage is love between the couples.What is love?
Love is a set of feelings that has many characteristics.Love brings mutual understanding.Love supports the loved one emotionally.Love is seeking the welfare of the loved one.Love is having high regard for the loved one.Love is experiencing happiness with the loved one.Love is being able to count on the loved one.Love is persistent longing to see and be with the loved one.
Another component of marriage is caring.The couple care about each other and treat each other as special.They develop strong bond and care about each others happiness.They like to stay close to each other and do little things to express their love.They love to fulfill the needs of their partners at all times without expecting anything in return.
Trust is the most important component of marriage.Both the partners should be able to trust each other and worthy of trust too.Trust means the confidence about the honesty,integrity and truthfulness of the partner.Trust means keeping the best interests of the partner always in mind and acting accordingly.Trust means the ability to accept each other as they are to avoid purposeful hurt of the other.
The commitment to the marriage relationship by the couple is another important aspect of marriage.Commitment strengthens the bond between the two.Each should feel strongly to continue to have undying commitment to each other until death.They should also make their partners understand that they are committed to each other in a subtle way.
Mutuality is another component of marriage.Mutuality is the feeling that the partners are engaged in a joint venture to fight against the lifeís problems together without deserting each other.Mutuality means sharing each others goals and interests and striving to achieve success together.Mutuality helps grow mutual respect when the couple help and support each others interests.
Knowledge about each other after marriage develops as part of intimate relationship.Knowledge means the ability to read the other personís moods and be understanding.Knowledge means the ability to tune into each others feelings and to act accordingly which strengthens the relationship.
The couple should allow ample personal space to their partner which strengthens the relationship.The couple should not suffocate each other by not allowing personal space to pursue personal activities.Allowing personal space is healthy and it does not weaken the relationship.On the contrary,it makes the time the couple spend together more special and rewarding.
conflict in marriage relationship
A marriage conflict can be defined as the interpersonal process that happens when the actions of one of the partner creates unhappiness to the other partner.Conflict is usually triggered by unpleasant comment or action originating from a partner that hurts the other partner.
Conflicts occur when one partner is hurt by the other and retaliates,or perceives a threat to his or her prestige.Conflicts also occur when one of the partners feels that his or her right to decide is taken away or when one of the partners judgment is not valued or acted upon.
In any relationship especially in a marriage conflicts are the norm rather than exception.A marriage relationship without any conflict leads to boredom and dissatisfaction.It may be said that conflicts are not only challenges to the relationship but also opportunities to strengthen the relationship.It may also be said that to a degree conflicts do play a positive role in strengthening the relationship.Conflicts help the couple to grow together when they try to resolve the conflict in a constructive way.Conflicts also help release the bottled up tension and resentment to make things easier.
Conflicts may be triggered by unreasonable demands,criticism,rebuff and cumulative dissatisfaction and anger.Unreasonable demands are those that are made by one partner on the other that cause dissatisfaction and even hurt to the other partner.Criticism by one partner about the other partner is taken as demeaning and offending by the other partner and may lead to retaliation or withdrawal.
Rebuff occurs when one partner does not react or respond in a way desirable to the other partner who feels insulted and unhappy.Cumulative annoyance occurs when certain unpleasant words or acts are tolerated or ignored until it reaches a threshold beyond which the cumulative anger explodes leading to conflict.
Once the conflict starts,they may either be resolved or escalated.If the conflict has to be resolved,direct negotiation is the key.Each partner states his or her position and both work towards conflict resolution till a solution acceptable to both partners is reached.
On the other hand if the conflict is escalated,heated exchanges follow to aggravate the problem further.Each partner sticks to his or her stand and is not willing to budge.Heated exchanges rarely resolve any conflict especially when insults or physical abuse happen.
Unresolved conflicts have the potential to cause break up of the marriage relationship itself.Some people ignore conflicts thinking that they would vanish in due course,only to regret it later.
Unresolved conflicts may cause the following to happen.The feeling of discontent begins to surface and partners feel rejected or misunderstood.The components of intimate relationship such as mutual trust,affection,openness,vanish altogether.If the conflicts are not resolved at this stage,the inevitable marriage break up occurs.
How the conflicts are resolved decides the stability of the marital relationship.If the conflicts are not resolved fast they may occur again and again.The partners should take immediate steps to resolve the issues to save the marriage.The following points may help.
The first step is to identify the problem central to the conflict.Most couples do not exactly know the core issue but deal with the surface disagreement.Once the core issue is identified,remedial measures are to be discussed agreeable to both the partners.
Deal with the core issue without anger.Of course it is difficult but for the sake of resolving the issue and saving the marriage it has to be done.Wait till your rage subsides before conflict resolution.Anger can never solve any problem but can only create it.
Talk about the particular issue and do not use this as an opportunity to give vent to your past disagreements.
Talk about the issue directly and tell the other person what has upset you and what you expect from the other person.
Respect the other personís feelings and negotiate with justice and fair play in mind.
If the negotiation turns into another destructive argument,stop it to continue later at an opportune moment when the tempers are cool.
To make a marriage successful and long lasting,it has to be carefully nurtured by those who stand to benefit the most,both husband and wife.Successful marriages do not happen by accident.It is the responsibility of both husband and wife to make the marriage work by carefully working on it with dedication.There are some golden rules which if followed sincerely will not only help in preventing divorce but also bring happiness into our homes.
How to fix a marriage golden rule-1:
Love your spouse with all your heart and never let the flame of love die down by kindling it often.Never take your spouse for granted.
It is not enough if you love your spouse, you must also make your spouse feel your love by subtle gestures such as a loving hug,reassuring touch and small gifts on occasions like birthday,wedding anniversary etc..Your spouse will appreciate it even if the gift is not costly since it represents your love.
How to fix a marriage golden rule-2:
Always be honest with your spouse and never ever lie to your spouse as it erodes your credibility.Also make your spouse realize that you expect the same from him or her which will be gladly accepted as it strengthens the bond between you.
How to fix a marriage golden rule-3:
Make your spouse understand that he or she is the most important person in your life and will ever remain so.Discuss all matters(that your spouse is interested in) with your spouse even if it is trivial according to you.
How to fix a marriage golden rule-4:
Never ever indulge in extramarital affair as it destroys the trust factor forever. Never ever flirt with opposite sex thinking that it is harmless because it is the first step that leads to extramarital affairs that may result in divorce.Flirting may also arouse suspicions and will affect your marital life as it demeans your character in the eyes of your spouse who will not respect you afterward.
How to fix a marriage golden rule-5:
Never encroach on your spouseís personal space.If you do so, he or she may feel uncomfortable living with you.
How to fix a marriage golden rule-6:
Never argue,criticize or condemn your spouse.Criticism never solves any problem but will only aggravate it.Criticism and condemnation demoralizes and creates resentment.Criticism also does not correct the situation for which it was intended.Every human being longs for appreciation but dreads condemnation.
Argument never solves any problem because even if you win,you lose the goodwill of your spouse since it hurts his or her pride causing loss of face.When you win an argument,you inflict injury to his or her ego diminishing your spouseís self worth. A person convinced against his or her will wonít change the opinion.Think it over.Which would you prefer?The good will of your spouse or winning the argument and losing the goodwill?
How to fix a marriage golden rule-7:
Always be friendly and helpful in all the activities of your spouse.Give honest appreciation but avoid flattery.Smile often because it is the outward indicator of friendliness.A genuine smile begets reciprocating smile spreading joy in our homes.
How to fix a marriage golden rule-8:
Never criticize or make fun of your spouseís relatives as you may be paid in the same coin which will result in avoidable resentment and bitterness.Treat your spouseís relatives with respect as you would like your family members to be treated by your spouse.
How to fix a marriage golden rule-9:
Make sure you both are sexually compatible.Satisfy the sexual needs of your spouse and if there is any problem talk it over and take appropriate medical advice or counseling. Dissatisfaction in sex life may cause extramarital affairs to happen leading to divorce.
How to fix a marriage golden rule-10:
Before thinking of divorce analyze yourself honestly whether the fault lies with you.Most of the time we tend to overrate ourselves and underrate others.Never hesitate to correct yourself and say sorry if you are at fault.
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